What to give up?

Today is Ash Wednesday...the beginning of Lent. It is tradition to give up something during this time. All I have been asked is, "so what are YOU giving up?" Traditionally I would have said something food related which most do..perhaps my cokes from sonic or maybe fast food or something to that effect. For some reason though this year that just doesn't seem significant to me. I mean really how much does giving a certain food up matter? I am here to say any food I have done without for 6 weeks I always return to. So in reality just what did giving up that food do? I did not learn anything by it; other than the fact just how addicted I can be to certain foods...This year I want to go deeper, delve into myself, make a change that hopefully, prayerfully will last..This year I am giving up...

Other peoples' influence over me!(particularly that which comes from family). I have a very close knit family. So close in fact that we own land on which me, my sister, and parents are all building homes on. We will have separate homes but share a backyard. (think Big Love). But with being so close comes the price of being influenced by them. They don't mean to negatively influence me. They don't mean to keep me from growing in my relationship with our Lord. They don't mean to sound harsh when they offer an unrequested opinion. They just mean well by what they say...

So I have decided in this time of Lent to learn how to roll off what comes my way. Put my blinders on so to speak. I can love them, but I don't have to be influenced by them. I can listen to them, but i don't have to follow what they say. As the Bible says my husband is the head of our household and ultimately he is the one responsible for our family. He has not lead us astray and has made very sound decisions. He has delivered us from the bondage of debt and has given us a life we can all be proud of. He purchased our land with the forethought of having our families live together be it his or mine. He has had the fore vision of making plans way before I even thought about it. I trust him and need to not be wavered by some "off the cuff" remark that is made or questioning they do about xyz. God gave me my husband for a reason and during this season I want to do what a Godly wife does and follow and support his lead in complete trust that God is working through him to care for us.

At the end of the day when we are all tucked into bed it is not my extended family I share my bed with but my husband. It is time for me to glorify him and give him his right place in our family. It is time for me to put my "blinders" on from the world and instead to rightly see what is within our 4 walls.

I'm looking forward to going to Mass at lunch time and receiving the ashes placed on my forehead. They will visibly remind me that from dust I came and to dust I will return. It will remind me of the season for sacrifice and contemplation. A time to make changes that will renew my spirit and soul.

As we prepare to move into our new home, I see this time as preparation for my soul. I see being able to put my "blinders" on when needed as a learned lesson so when we do move in to our new home in a couple of months I will move in with a renewed dedication to my husband and to my family and being stronger than ever. I look forward to the following 6 weeks of repentance, contemplation and prayer with the joy that Easter will bring forth.