Rediscovering my faith..

I have been pouring myself into this book as of late and have been in much contemplation. I know it sounds cheesey...a dummie book for catholics but seriously I am one catholic NOT in the know. Despite growing up in a family with a lineage of nuns, priests, and catholics for some reason my parents never instilled the traditions in me. Yes we went to Mass on Sundays...well some Sundays but my mother only managed to go as far as getting me baptized and my first communion but not my confirmation. I have always felt like I had an empty space to fill. I keep trying to get confirmed but they start classes in september and ends in april with Easter. My problem has been I have either been pregnant, have a small child to care for, or no available sitters to watch the kids. I think, I hope, I pray that finally this september I will be in a place to start my confirmation and fulfill my duty as a catholic. I'm really excited about the prospect and looking forward to it.

It saddens me that my children are not being raised in a household full of catholic tradition. But how can they be when I don't even understand it all or comprehend it all? My poor husband converted to catholicism from being a baptist for me at our wedding. He literally had his catholic baptism and first communion at our wedding. What a blessing that was but some how we just kinda got stuck there and never went further. Its like our lives became overwhelmed by finishing school, having babies, numerous moves, and just trying to survive in a new marriage.

I really feel like now that we have 15 years of marriage under our belt and the kids are getting older I am FINALLY in a place that I can give my full attention and focus on my faith and how I want my faith to play out in our family.

I"ll never forget a year ago when I was at church I was in the way back trying to calm down Paloma. She was a baby at the time and very fussy. It was towards the end of Mass when a girl maybe 17yo came to the back and put her hands on the feet of the statue of Mary and began praying in silence. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. She finished her prayer, crossed herself and left. I will never forget that and I felt so honored to be there to witness that. I want that. I want that for my children. I want them to have a love, admiration, and relationship with Our Blessed Mary.

This is why I have been spending so much time as of late in contemplation and in my Dummie Book(its very good. written by priests who are often seen on EWTN. wished I had that channel but can't afford it yet.) I feel like its my time to grow and its my time to bring our faith into our everyday lives.

My father always says "once a Catholic, always a Catholic." I couldn't agree more...its just that now I realize just what I was taking for granted all along.