Straddling the fence

Do you ever feel like you live in 2 completely different worlds? That is how I have been feeling lately. I love blogs, forums, the world wide web. I love what it feeds me, teaches me, inspires me. However with all that love comes a lot of differences and confusion.

See, I belong to 2 forums and read numerous blogs. The one forum I belong to is made up of my housewife homies. I love them to pieces and consider them my friends even though I have never met one irl. The other forum I belong to is a health and healing forum I joined when I was battling candida and my mom was battling breast cancer. Let's just the 2 are like oil and water. They just don't mesh. Throw in the blogs I read and that just further complicates things.

I'm a southern girl at heart. I love sweet tea, my sonic fountain cokes esp. during happy hour, casseroles (made with butter ya'll), decorating (love that), and just being an all around GRITS girl. For those that don't know what "GRITS" stands for its: Girls raised in the South. This is in stark contrast to the other side of me...the side of me that craves health and healing. The side that enjoys her green smoothies, taking her supplements, eating clean pure food. But let's be honest here...it is highly expensive to live that kind of lifestyle AND lets just say the kids would much rather eat one of my casseroles than raw kale lol.

This is what makes it hard for me and makes me feel like I am one foot in 2 worlds. I enjoy visiting my health and healing forum but I don't feel like I'm on that level of health. 1.) I can't afford it (when I was doing it to cure my candida hubbie and I fought like crazy over the expense of all my "foods" I needed). and 2.) it takes REAL dedication and I'm just not there anymore. But I truly admire those who really take their health seriously and aim to live their lives cleaning their bodies of toxins and crud. In reality though I go there for inspiration and so that I don't totally go over the deep side. I mean just because I am a southern girl with a liking for southern food does not mean I should be scarfing down bags of doritos and hostess cupcakes. I am much better than before but I am not as good as I used to be. I have made life changes that I have kept ie: using stevia for sweetener, avoiding artificial sugars, avoiding my doritos addiction but I do still enjoy my sonic coke daily, an occasional burger and fries and of course those casseroles I was telling you about.

I guess I'm just having a hard time identifying where I'm at in my life. Am I a health nut? Am a GRITS girl? What am I? But more important I ask myself why the need to categorize myself? Why can't I be comfortable knowing that I am who I am. Yes I take a bajillion supplements. Yes I avoid the really bad foods but I still enjoy my food much like Paula Deen does. And who does not like Paula Deen. That gal can cook but what I do notice is that she uses REAL ingredients and not some processed crap out of a box (who am I kidding? I have resorted to hamburger helper ie heart attack in a box when in a pinch).

I guess I just wanted to fess up. I'm not a total health nut snob but I'm not a junk food junkie either. I'm not a feng shui, asian style minimalist. Instead I am in love with decorating and love to have my candles burning, mini lamps turned on, and copies of Southern Living on my coffee table. I feel caught between 2 worlds but I'm thinking its what makes me who I am and as long as I'm living my life with the best intent possible then that is all that really matters. Right?