I'm having a day of pain. I have endometriosis so every month when Aunt Flo visits I end up house ridden for 4 days. The pain just gets the best of me every month. I usually end up in tears in the middle of the night asking hubbie to take me to the ER it gets that bad but my brain tells me to bear it out and eventually I fall asleep. I pop Advil like kids do candy during these times...been to the doctor many of them and they all say the same diagnosis with the cure being a hysterectomy. Well at 34 that is NOT an option right now so I grin and bear it.
Then as if that is not enough I have developed a sore tongue. It has happened before and I had gone to docs before to see what it was and they never know...it always eventually clears up but usually takes awhile and hurts a lot. I ended up googling sore tongue with my symptoms and have diagnosed myself! Burned tongue syndrome. Yep that is what I have for sure. Its exactly what i feel yet as the other docs have said no treatment available...just time for it to heal..
So it leaves me frustrated. Not only I have pain below but pain above and it makes it hard to talk and wouldn't you know I have the most talkative kids ever!!! Is it bed time yet? lol
My husband called me out on my complaints today...He laughed saying I always find something to complain about despite all the good that is happening right now. Doh! Man stab me with a fork of Truth why doesn't he? I really do that though and hate that. I swear he is the Pooh and I'm forever Eeyore. I try so hard to get past my Eeyore ways and when things are good i really am able to reach that Pooh feeling but man when I get hit with pain I fall back to my eeyore self and i"m not proud one bit.
I'm having a hard time being that cheerful wife, happy mother, keep my house together, and cook a fresh meal kinda girl. I have been fixated on my painful state of being at the moment and have thus been frozen like a shrew. Why do I let my physical problems get in my way? Why do I let my feelings control me? Why can't I get past that and focus on the good rather than spending hours at a time on webmd and google diagnosing myself with xyz. Even my own docs have told me to step away from the computer lol.
I'm hoping that within a couple of days I will get over these yucky feelings and get back to myself or at least the self that my husband and family deserves.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Menu Monday
Here is what we're eating this week.
Monday: leftovers from yesterday dinner (pasta, bread, salad)
Tuesday: taco tuesday
Wednesday: coca cola roast served soft taco style, beans
Thursday: take out pizza (daughter has soccer practice and gets out late)
Friday: fish, rice
Saturday: hmmm...don't know yet?
Monday: leftovers from yesterday dinner (pasta, bread, salad)
Tuesday: taco tuesday
Wednesday: coca cola roast served soft taco style, beans
Thursday: take out pizza (daughter has soccer practice and gets out late)
Friday: fish, rice
Saturday: hmmm...don't know yet?
Friday, March 27, 2009
My scale lies!
Go ahead and just agree with me and tell me it does..please..for my sanity's sake ok. I mean really how could I have gained 5 pounds over the course of a month? Is that even doable? And how did that happen. I mean I know my pants were getting a bit snug but doesn't the dryer do that when you dry the clothes in there? I know I've been suffering with a bit of heartburn but doesn't that happen when you eat a whole bag of chips?
How can it be that *artist* will say how pretty I look and then I say, "hurry grab the camera and take a pic cause I never look pretty" and she grabs the camera and takes a pic and oh my! the horror of all horrors! I'm fat! I mean I got a belly pudge and my booty has a back ledge you could lay a drink on. I mean seriously how can 5 pounds do all that? Oh right! I'm 5'2 which means one pound can look like ten so at this point I look way overweight and hate it!!!
You would think after seeing the horror of all horrors I would jump on the diet wagon but no..I am stress eating to no avail. I can't stop myself. I am starving. My cortisone hormones from stress are working overtime making me HUNGRY!
I keep telling myself once we get moved into the new house and get settled THEN I can diet. But why is it that I always tell myself "once i get this...or once I do this...then I can this..." I mean why do I wait for that perfect time. You would think by this point in my life I would have learned that there will never be a perfect time for anything. That the time for anything is now. Why do I wait instead? It frustrates me to no end yet I have been this way my whole life. Change is hard for me. I don't like it. It's uncomfortable. Yet change is when I have found my most extreme growth. So why do I fight change?
How can it be that *artist* will say how pretty I look and then I say, "hurry grab the camera and take a pic cause I never look pretty" and she grabs the camera and takes a pic and oh my! the horror of all horrors! I'm fat! I mean I got a belly pudge and my booty has a back ledge you could lay a drink on. I mean seriously how can 5 pounds do all that? Oh right! I'm 5'2 which means one pound can look like ten so at this point I look way overweight and hate it!!!
You would think after seeing the horror of all horrors I would jump on the diet wagon but no..I am stress eating to no avail. I can't stop myself. I am starving. My cortisone hormones from stress are working overtime making me HUNGRY!
I keep telling myself once we get moved into the new house and get settled THEN I can diet. But why is it that I always tell myself "once i get this...or once I do this...then I can this..." I mean why do I wait for that perfect time. You would think by this point in my life I would have learned that there will never be a perfect time for anything. That the time for anything is now. Why do I wait instead? It frustrates me to no end yet I have been this way my whole life. Change is hard for me. I don't like it. It's uncomfortable. Yet change is when I have found my most extreme growth. So why do I fight change?
Hot? Cold? Snow?
Snow? Seriously? A blizzard warning? Yep its all true. Welcome to the South folks. Yesterday I was in capris and flips pushing my lil one on the swings at the park with my shades on and today i wake up to a blizzard warning and snow on the ground! This is the very reason why people in the South cannot box up their clothes into seasons. No...we have to keep all of our clothes all seasons out in the closet for times like this.
But honestly I'm enjoying it. I got to relish in the sun yesterday and am now relishing in a gloomy cold day at home. Other than picking up and dropping off kids at various locations and times I get to enjoy this day here at home. I only wished I could get a pot of chili on the stove. But its Lent and today is Friday so its tuna sammies and apples for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll have a hot cup of tomato soup and a grilled cheese for lunch. Surely that will satisfy my tummy and warm me up a bit.
Off to stare out the window and watch the snow fall..I'm cherishing this as surely this will be our last snowfall right? Only in the South...
But honestly I'm enjoying it. I got to relish in the sun yesterday and am now relishing in a gloomy cold day at home. Other than picking up and dropping off kids at various locations and times I get to enjoy this day here at home. I only wished I could get a pot of chili on the stove. But its Lent and today is Friday so its tuna sammies and apples for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll have a hot cup of tomato soup and a grilled cheese for lunch. Surely that will satisfy my tummy and warm me up a bit.
Off to stare out the window and watch the snow fall..I'm cherishing this as surely this will be our last snowfall right? Only in the South...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
me
Ok folks. this is me behind the blog. Do you know how ridiculously hard it is to take a picture of yourself in the mirror? Good golly this took me a good 10 minutes to do! I would have let someone else get a pic of me but all those pics have me looking fat! This one I felt I could share without burying my head under the covers lol!Anyways now you have a face behind the blog. Hope everyone is having a great day!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Menu Monday
A new week a new menu. Hopefully we can actually eat this menu this week lol!
Monday: Maid Rites (ala Robyn) with either taters or chips
Tuesday: Taco Tuesday
Wednesday: Chicken Stir Fry, spring rolls
Thursday: Pizza
Friday: Tuna sammies, chips, apples (yes we eat this a lot during Lent)
Saturday: Grilled burgers, dogs, baked beans
Monday: Maid Rites (ala Robyn) with either taters or chips
Tuesday: Taco Tuesday
Wednesday: Chicken Stir Fry, spring rolls
Thursday: Pizza
Friday: Tuna sammies, chips, apples (yes we eat this a lot during Lent)
Saturday: Grilled burgers, dogs, baked beans
Too many balls in the air...
Whew! I have way too much going on. First off lets just say last week's Menu Monday did NOT happen. We ate one thing on that menu and the rest was quickie sammies or eating out. It got so bad that *artist* actually asked me when I would be cooking again. She much prefers my cooking to eating out. How sweet I know.
So what kept me from cooking last week? My house. We are building a new one and are finally at the end stages. I'll be posting some pics later. We spent Spring Break last week shopping for granite, stained concrete, carpet, and other misc. stuff along with going to the Home Depot a bazillion times for a bazillion things the workers need. So all that and being that our land is far away from our current home equated to a lot of meals out. Not good. So back to home cooking this week thank heavens and hopefully I can nest at home a bit this week and get caught up on chores. My oh my my house needs it bad!
Then as if that is not enough I am mentoring an applicant for a leader position in my women's group. I am a leader and every new leader must be mentored to become accredited so that is going to have me busy.
I am involved in a book study that I have so been slacking on and I hate that. I stayed up late last night catching up on the reading in hopes that maybe I can participate. We are reading Created to be his Helpmeet which I love. i've read it once already and we are rereading and studying it again. It is amazing what you can get out of a book the second time around.
One glorious thing I did this weekend was watch Twilight! I am so in the Edward club! I had not seen it at the movies and was desperate to rent it. So much so that I showed up 10 minutes early at my video store to make sure I would get a copy. Well wouldn't you know it was only me and an old lady in the parking lot waiting for them to unlock the doors. I told myself surely the old lady is not going to rent Twilight but wouldn't you know she did! We both made a B-line to the Twilight section lol! it was way too funny but man I so enjoyed that 2 hours of pure blissful pleasure. What a delight.
Then I got to sneak away for an hour to barnes and nobles. I really needed that one though. I was a bit down as i just found out that a friend of mine has thyroid cancer. (is everyone doomed to the "C" word?) So to lift my own spirits I took some me time and it helped. I decided to make my friend a hospital care package that I will leave on her doorstep tomorrow. She is having surgery on wednesday. I think it hit me so hard as she is my age and has 4 kids as well. The whole thing just saddened me to pieces. But I am lifting her in prayer and will feel better when I give her her care package. i am buying a basket at dollar tree and filling it with a dr. pepper chapstick (she loves dr. p), flip flops to wear at the hospital, a pretty clip for her hair, a gossip rag, and a sonic gift card (she loves their fountain cokes like me). I'm sure she'll like it and hopefully that will lift her spirits.
So to sum up: I've been slacking in my home duties, have not been cooking as of late, have not participated in my book group, need to get on the ball with my mentorship, received sad news that hit me to my core and a dozen other things. I'm seeing this week as a new week to get caught up and reassess. I read somewhere and( i am paraphrasing here as I don't remember the direct quote) that real peace is not found in the quiet and stillness of life but rather is found in the hustle and bustle and noise of life when you can still be calm amidst the chaos. Now that is real peace. Now that is something I need to find.
So what kept me from cooking last week? My house. We are building a new one and are finally at the end stages. I'll be posting some pics later. We spent Spring Break last week shopping for granite, stained concrete, carpet, and other misc. stuff along with going to the Home Depot a bazillion times for a bazillion things the workers need. So all that and being that our land is far away from our current home equated to a lot of meals out. Not good. So back to home cooking this week thank heavens and hopefully I can nest at home a bit this week and get caught up on chores. My oh my my house needs it bad!
Then as if that is not enough I am mentoring an applicant for a leader position in my women's group. I am a leader and every new leader must be mentored to become accredited so that is going to have me busy.
I am involved in a book study that I have so been slacking on and I hate that. I stayed up late last night catching up on the reading in hopes that maybe I can participate. We are reading Created to be his Helpmeet which I love. i've read it once already and we are rereading and studying it again. It is amazing what you can get out of a book the second time around.
One glorious thing I did this weekend was watch Twilight! I am so in the Edward club! I had not seen it at the movies and was desperate to rent it. So much so that I showed up 10 minutes early at my video store to make sure I would get a copy. Well wouldn't you know it was only me and an old lady in the parking lot waiting for them to unlock the doors. I told myself surely the old lady is not going to rent Twilight but wouldn't you know she did! We both made a B-line to the Twilight section lol! it was way too funny but man I so enjoyed that 2 hours of pure blissful pleasure. What a delight.
Then I got to sneak away for an hour to barnes and nobles. I really needed that one though. I was a bit down as i just found out that a friend of mine has thyroid cancer. (is everyone doomed to the "C" word?) So to lift my own spirits I took some me time and it helped. I decided to make my friend a hospital care package that I will leave on her doorstep tomorrow. She is having surgery on wednesday. I think it hit me so hard as she is my age and has 4 kids as well. The whole thing just saddened me to pieces. But I am lifting her in prayer and will feel better when I give her her care package. i am buying a basket at dollar tree and filling it with a dr. pepper chapstick (she loves dr. p), flip flops to wear at the hospital, a pretty clip for her hair, a gossip rag, and a sonic gift card (she loves their fountain cokes like me). I'm sure she'll like it and hopefully that will lift her spirits.
So to sum up: I've been slacking in my home duties, have not been cooking as of late, have not participated in my book group, need to get on the ball with my mentorship, received sad news that hit me to my core and a dozen other things. I'm seeing this week as a new week to get caught up and reassess. I read somewhere and( i am paraphrasing here as I don't remember the direct quote) that real peace is not found in the quiet and stillness of life but rather is found in the hustle and bustle and noise of life when you can still be calm amidst the chaos. Now that is real peace. Now that is something I need to find.
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