Feeling bipolar

First off No I am not bipolar just feeling that way lol! I don't know if its the move, keeping the kids occupied this summer, hormones, my endometriosis or any combination of these things but boy what an emotional roller coaster I have been on. And my poor husband oy vey! Having to put up with me. yikes to say the least.

Since moving in we have found things that either need repair or replacing. Finally today after waiting 4 weeks our roof was repaired. It still is not completely repaired but at least it is now repaired to the point I don't have to worry about rain. But for crying out loud 4 weeks to get someone out here??? And wouldn't you know we have had more rain the past 4 weeks than we have had the past 4 months. go figure. Then my granite needed resealing and boy was that smell intense from the sealer. Finally after a few days the smell has dissipated and is one less worry on my worry list. As if all that was not enough we found a brown recluse spider crawling on the wall in my daughter's room! I was so scared and restless having found one of those and felt disappointed in finding one as we sprayed during the construction process and again before move in. You would think that would have killed off everything but from reading up on spiders they do not lick themselves hence the spray won't kill them off. You have to "gas" them away. So after much reading on www.brown-recluse.com I have set out a ton of sticky glue traps everywhere to monitor activity. So far I have caught a few ants (boy are those boogers hard to get rid of living out yonder) and one daddy long legs. My pest control offered to do a "brown recluse" treatment of the house where they basically "gas" the house for a fee of $375. Right now I think I am going to postpone that and see what the glue traps turn up. We just don't have that kind of money right now esp. with the kids going back to school, trying to sell our old house (whole other story there), fixing the odds and ends around here, etc.

All of this has caused my anxiety level to rise HIGH. I am having trouble eating. I feel overwhelmed. Yet peppered in with these feelings are true blips of happiness when I watch my kids enjoy their new home or when I'm cooking in my kitchen and actually have room to groove. So that pretty much sums up my bipolarness. I have moments of anxiety (who am I kidding? days of it) followed by moments of contentment and real happiness.

I'm not good with change and I'm facing a whole slew of it. Mom and Dad's house is finishing up next door. So I will soon be busy moving them in and getting them settled. *Artist* will be attending her first year of High School. Alejandro will be attending his first year of Junior High. Mariposa will be attending her first year of Elementary. Finally, Paloma will be attending her first year of preschool. All this and a new house = lots of change. Me and change do not go hand in hand. I am such a creature of habit and this is just tearing me up. I feel like my reserves are on empty and I'm running on air. I keep reminding myself that once the Fall comes and the kids get settled into their routines things will be better. I keep reminding myself that it is through times of struggle that the most growth occurs. I keep reminding myself that this too shall pass and I'll be better for it. But for now I am having a hard time taking my own advice.

So, I'm taking one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time. I relish in those happy moments I find throughout my day and I push through the struggles that pop up throughout my day. I hope that sooner than later I can look back on this time and be proud that I made it through and was stronger for it.