Preschool?

I'm in the middle of a preschool dilemma. Paloma was all set to go to preschool this past Fall. We talked about it all summer long explaining all the fun things she would do and new friends she would make. The one thing that kept her from going however was potty training. She was not 100% trained at the time and that is one requirement they are very strict about. Come to find out later, Paloma purposely would not train because of going to school. She used that as a way to not go to school. All summer long we would tell her she needed to go in the big girl potty so she could go to school. She began to associate potty training to school and would refuse to go. I had to regretfully pull her out before school started and keep her at home. Of course once I explained to her she was not going to go to school she trained that week. Coincidence? I think not.

Here we are now approaching January and there is an opening in the class she should have been in. I am so torn about putting her in in January. She has no desire of going. She does not do well with change at all and would much prefer just hanging out with me. What worries me is if she doesn't go now will she go next fall? Will she always be too shy to go? That's the strange part. She is so outgoing at home and with my family to the point dare I say she rules the roost ha! But, you get her in a situation where I drop her off with other children and a teacher and lets just say we have one very unhappy child on our hands.

I'm struggling with this decision so much as I really want her to go: my other 3 children have been through the same program and same teachers making it tradition almost. However, there is no real necessity for her to go. I do not work so it's not like i need a day care situation. My mom takes care of Mariposa and Paloma every afternoon while I go pick up the older kids from school leaving me some time for myself. The cost for her to go would be hard being that we are on the world's tightest budget ever. When I write the pros and cons it seems to me more like the best thing to do is keep her home with me until next fall and then try again. The problem i deal with is the feeling that she will be "behind" her peers for having not gone. I'm feeling like I need a curriculum to start on in January to make sure she has mastered everything she needs to.

As far as socialization goes she is doing good there. I have her in a weekly playgroup and once the weather warms up we are in another playgroup that meets at the park each week for a picnic lunch. Couple that with a few storytimes and visits with her grandparents and aunt and uncle and I think she is ok there. I guess I'm just struggling with the feeling that I'm not doing enough for her. The feeling that she needs more than I can give her. Yet I know that time goes sooo fast and before I know it she will be in school all day long and I will long to have this time with her and me back. I dunno. Just feeling confused right now.